I feel horrible tonight.
lady red is depressed, and i couldn't even try to bring her out of her sadness.
it's times like this i hate that we are far apart.
i hate the fact she's feeling like this, cause when she is, i feel like shit. like i'm useless.
i mean she's everything to me.
and now all of this sadness she's now feeling, is beacuse of all the drama at her house.
i just want to free her from this. all of it.
if i had the money like before i would damn sure as hell do it.
but not even my family members understand.
i hate this.
i hope she knows that i still love her with all my heart and that my love will never change.
i want her here with me.
i want to be there with her
RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
i want to hold her tightly in my arms, never let her go and let her pour her tears out of frustration and dispair.
i want her to tell me why she feels horrid.
why she feels like she's nothing to exist.
so i can tell her its all not true.
that she has a reason to exist.
she told me last night that i should give up on her.
if only she realized that she has been the happiest thing to make me feel for the last 25 years.
THE ONLY THING.
i cried tonight and couldn't eat or barely sleep because i was worried bout her.
how i feel right now?
Fuck going to Japan.
Fuck My MUSIC Career.
Fuck Everything else in my life.
I would gladly give that all up for her, even though she doesn't want me too.
she will be upset i said these things, but she knowthat's how much i love her,
and that is the honest truth and promise.
if anybody out there in the sky can hear me,
please take my dreams away and use them to make her happy again?
that is all that i ask for.
taht is all that i wish for.
that i what i DREAM For.
all of my other dreams i could care less for,
i want her to smile again.
and if you read this Lady red,
i FUCKING LOVE YOU.
I WILL STILL LOVE YOU.
AND I WILL CONTINUE TO LOVE YOU.
i don't care about anything else in my life but you.
so please smile and be happy for me again.